


Lips of an Angel

by tomlinsxnstyles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 07:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10635021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomlinsxnstyles/pseuds/tomlinsxnstyles
Summary: I guess they never really moved on.





	

Lips of an Angel

Chapter One: The Beginning  
-Louis-

“C’mere,” Louis mumbled under his breath, turning to face Aiden. “I wanna hold you.”

Aiden snuggled his face up to Louis’ chest. This hasn’t happened nearly enough lately, and he was starting to feel more and more lonely. Louis couldn’t help thinking back to the days that they saw each other every day, but that was months and months ago. Now, Louis is back on tour with One Direction and Aiden works as a travelling doctor. Between both jobs, they’re lucky to get a day every two weeks together. It’s getting harder for them each day, and Louis is sure it’s hard for Aiden too, but also can’t help but feel like he misses him more. 

“I miss you, you know that, right?” Aiden mumbled into his chest.  
“Yeah,” Louis replied, “I miss you a lot, too.” 

This type of small talk is getting exhausting. Louis knows that Aiden misses him, because the way that Louis misses Aiden is painful. It’s like that type of pain someone gets when someone you love leaves you. It swallows you whole. 

“This is getting really hard,” Louis said, sitting up, “I don’t know how much longer we can keep doing this…” Aiden sat up and looked at Louis and replied, “I know, but we always make it work.” 

Louis was getting frustrated at this point, because he felt like Aiden wasn’t taking him seriously when he tried to talk about how he was feeling. He had to resort to venting to Niall, and everyone knows that Niall likes to mess with him more than helping him. Talking to Liam worked sometimes, but he was mainly too focused on Zayn to pay attention to Louis, and Harry… well, Harry and Louis are on good terms, but he doesn’t want to bring his new relationship into Harry’s life, it just wouldn’t be fair. Louis watches Harry and knows that he’s still hurt by the loss of their relationship, and it hurts Louis too. He just doesn’t know how to heal Harry’s wounds without gaining every ounce of feelings for him back.

The end of their relationship was rocky. They both knew that they just couldn’t keep acting like they were still 18 and in love. They knew it was time to move on from each other and try to see other people, because they’ve never experienced anyone but each other, and it wasn’t fair to either one of them. That was three years ago, and it still hurts them both to this day.  
\--  
Louis got up from bed and started to get ready for his day. There were so many thoughts running through his head because today was finally the day that he needed to leave for the second leg of his tour. He had been home for a month, and now they were leaving again. They were going to Australia, and it’s been awhile since they’ve gone. It was exciting to get back on stage again, and it was amazing that their fans showed continuing support for them. They haven’t toured for four years now, it felt like an eternity. First stop was Sydney. Louis’ mind was running. Last time he was in Sydney, his entire world was so different than it was now. The love of his life was by his side, and he’s afraid that those feelings are going to start coming back as they go to all of these places together again. 

“Lou,” Aiden said, “are you alright?” Aiden could tell that he wasn’t himself this morning. Something had to be off.  
“Yeah, just sad about leaving, that’s all…” Louis responded, and climbed back into bed for a minute. He needed to get as much snuggling as he could in within the next hour or so. “I don’t want to leave you again.” 

“We always make it work, Lou. Always.” Aiden said, Aiden was concerned as to why Louis was acting so weird this time around, he never made it seem like such a big deal, but today was different. “What’s happening in that mind of yours, babe?” Aiden brushed his finger across Louis’ cheek and kissed his temple.

“Just old memories, that’s all… I feel bad for the boys having to get up and leave again, it wasn’t easy when we were young, and it’s even harder now,” Louis snuggled himself into Aiden, and Aiden let him stay there for a while. Aiden figured it was the best thing he could do: no talking, and just hold him as long as he could.

-Aiden-

Something is off with Louis. Aiden wasn’t quite sure what, but he was thinking Harry may have something to do with it. Aiden thinks Louis feels guilty for hurting him and is sick of Harry coming between his relationship with Louis, but he knows he can trust Louis not to do anything stupid while he’s gone.

Although he trusts him, his mind still roams with wonder. He wonders why he feels the need to talk to him so much while they’re on tour. Aiden is kind of the jealous type, and he’s not enjoying the fact that they’re going to be spending so much time together for the next month. He doesn’t want to hear about how Harry looked sad that day or that Louis feels like it’s his fault that he’s still upset. Louis shouldn’t care so much still. Aiden knows that he doesn’t care about his ex that much. Ultimately, that’s what worries him, and the fact that he could leave him at any point… well, he tries not to think about that too often, or it will tear him apart.

-Louis-

Aiden doesn’t understand Louis’ past with Harry. He doesn’t understand that they were all that each other had. He doesn’t understand that when their worlds were crumbling apart, they had each other. He doesn’t understand that they know the deepest, most intimate parts of each other. Will he ever understand that? Probably not, but Louis doesn’t think that he needs to explain it to him. Now that Harry and Louis aren’t together, Louis is afraid of what Harry will do when he’s upset. Louis is scared that when he doesn’t turn to him, he’s not going to talk to anyone, and keep everything bottled up and explode like he did last time. He ended up hurting himself that night, and he still doesn’t forgive himself for it. Going back on tour is going to be hard for Aiden, but he doesn’t understand that it’s going to be even harder for Louis.

Chapter Two: First Day of Tour  
Louis

Louis packed up the last of his stuff and threw it into the Uber that he’s taking to Liam’s flat. They always meet at Liam’s because it’s just the easiest. He decided to crash there for the night, because they have an early start tomorrow and he didn’t feel like waking up extra early, he can get really irritated at small things when he doesn’t get enough sleep. 

It’ll be nice for Louis to just have a night visiting Liam, it never happens anymore. They used to be attached at the hip, but since they’ve been back on tour they’ve been visiting with other family and friends. Ever since Harry and Louis broke up, Liam has been the one Louis has confided in the most, but sometimes it’s hard because Louis sees him so happy with Zayn. They’ve stayed together throughout all the ups and downs, even when Zayn left the band. The fans didn’t think that they all stayed in contact anymore, but Zayn and Louis still talk at least once a week. Louis doesn’t know how they manage to get through all of the hard times through tour, and he’s hoping Liam will have some good advice for him to get through tour without Aiden there. It’s different for Liam, though, because he knew how it felt to be on tour with Zayn by his side. Aiden has no idea how it feels to be on tour and how crazy the atmosphere is. Louis is nervous that he’s not going to understand how he feels. 

The uber pulled up to Liam’s driveway and honked their horn, that’s usually the way Louis greets him when he arrives. He gets really annoyed, and Louis thinks it’s pretty funny.

“Hey, mate!” Louis yells to him, Liam is sitting outside on a lawn chair with his guitar. He’s been taking lessons from Niall and he seems to be getting better, which is great for him. The fans will be excited to hear him play for the first time.

“Louis!” Liam gets up and runs over to me and helps me with my stuff. He only wanted to bring what he needed for the night inside, so he tells him not to get too carried away.

“How is everything, mate? It’s been a while!” Liam grabs him and pulls him into a hug, and Louis sinks into him. It’s been a long time since he has been hugged by someone who understood him. That sounds bad, but it’s true.

“It’s been decent! I’ve missed you for sure. How’s Zayn?” Louis asked, looking around his living room. You would think that he and Zayn were married with children by the looks of his flat. There were framed pictures of them everywhere, it was cute. It was something that he used to do with Harry, but now it’s too painful to think about.

“Zayn’s good! He’s dropping his new album next month, so he’s getting ready for that. I’m so excited for him. I helped him with some of the guitar solos in his new album! The fans are gonna be so stoked!” Liam is smiling from ear to ear. He’s so happy, and Louis absolutely loves seeing him like this.

“Ahhh, sick!” he replied. He tries to be enthusiastic, but it probably didn’t come off that way.

Louis shuffles his feet into Liam’s guest room and sets his stuff down on the bed. He looks around and see pictures of the band from 2014. They looked so young and goofy. He picks up the photo and ran his hand across him and Harry. Harry had his hands on Louis’ cheeks and Louis was standing in front of him. Louis was making a fish face and he was grinning. Louis wishes he could go back to that day and stop everything from happening. He knows that he’s not being fair to Aiden, but feels like breaking it off with him now wouldn’t be fair to him even more. He feels so lost, and doesn’t know if he will ever be found again.

“Mate?” Liam knocked on the door, and walked in, “I know there’s something wrong. Is there something I can do?” Liam was concerned, but he shrugged it off. I mean, he was fine, right?

“I’m all set, thanks though,” Louis said, “I think I’m going to take a shower, if that’s cool?” Liam nodded and Louis grabbed a towel and some clothes.

Louis stood in the shower with scorching hot water running down his body. He’s made so many mistakes, and they’re coming back to haunt him. Tomorrow, Louis has to see him. He has to make eye contact with him. He has to smell his skin, hear his voice. He’s not ready. He surely thought he was, but he doesn’t think he can do this anymore. 

That’s when he hears a knock on Liam’s front door.

Chapter Three: Reunited

“MATE!” he heard a guys voice yell, “good to see you!” Louis turned the shower off and tried to listen closely. The last thing he needed right now was to step out of the shower and open the door to see Harry standing there. 

Louis got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around him to dry off. He snuck into the guest room and got dressed. He went to the door and put his ear against the wall to try to hear who was there. 

“Dude, I can’t believe we’re going back on tour already!” Louis heard the irish accent and took a deep breath. It was Niall. Thank God. 

Louis walked out of the guest room and went over to say hi to Niall. “Hey, mate!” Louis grabbed Niall and pulled him into a hug. After all of these years, he doesn’t know how Niall has gone without having a girlfriend. He’s always been really great at traveling and living up his life without regrets. He always tells the boys that he’ll find someone to settle down with after his bucket list is done. Louis really admires him for that.

“Tommo!” Niall yelled, “so good to see you!” Niall looked at him and smiled. It was like no time had passed at all. Louis grabbed Niall into a hug and held him tight. Sometimes moments like this is all Louis really needs.

“Liam, did you talk to Lou about tonight?” Niall asked. Louis turned to face Liam with a confused look on his face.

“What about tonight?” Louis asked, wrinkling his forehead. 

“Oh… Yeah, no, haven’t yet. Thanks a ton, Niall.” Liam gave Niall a glare and turned to face Louis, “We’re all going to go out tonight and I hope you don’t mind, but we invited Harry and Zayn as well.” Liam looked at Louis and saw his eyes go from excited to lifeless.

Louis couldn’t say no. It wouldn’t be fair, so of course, he replied with, “Yeah, sure.” 

As Louis got ready for his night, he put on a pair of black skinny jeans and a navy blue shirt and sprayed his favorite cologne. The one that Harry bought him in London and he savors the scent ever since. The smell reminds him of happier places and happier times.

\---

The ride into town was quiet. Louis could tell that it was him making things awkward, so he decided to put some headphones in his ears and pretend to listen to music so the boys would start to talk and things would be normal again.

The boys started to talk again, and Louis rested his head against the side of the car. Thoughts were racing through his head and the only thing he thought he should do right now is text Aiden and try to keep his mind off Harry.

Louis: Hey babe , miss you already xx 

Aiden: miss you more :). 

Louis: I might not be able to text much tonight love , we’re going out to listen to some live music and get some drinks . text me later ok ? love you so much xx 

Aiden: okay, sounds good. Text me when you’re back so I know that you’re alive please. Love you. xx

Louis sighed and dropped his phone. He just lied to Aiden and didn’t even mention Harry. Maybe it would be easier this way.  
The boys arrived at the bar and immediately got out of the car. Louis left his phone in the car, he didn’t need distractions. His plan for the night was to get so drunk that he didn’t remember seeing Harry at all. The boys entered the bar and Louis’ eyes immediately met Harry’s. Louis stopped breathing. Harry was so perfect to Louis. Standing there with black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with his hair pushed off to the side. His green eyes captured him every single time he say them. Harry stared back as a million thoughts ran through his head. He felt like running to him and grabbing his face and kissing him and forgetting that anything has ever happened, his heart wanted that so badly, but his head kept telling him no.

“Louis, hey!” Zayn snapped his fingers in front of Louis’ eyes and smiled, “you okay?” Zayn looked and made the connection that he was staring at Harry.

“That seems to be the question of the night,” Louis mumbled, getting kind of annoyed, “let’s go get drinks, shall we?” 

Louis and Zayn headed over to the bar to order some shots. “Have you said hi yet?” Zayn asked. Louis shook his head, “I don’t want to yet. I need some drinks in me first.” 

Zayn smirked, “He’s not going to bite. Just go say hi.” Louis picked up a shot and drank it, picked up another and gave it to Zayn. Zayn looked at Louis, “What’s really going on, Louis? You can lie to them, but I know you better than that.”

Louis looked at Zayn, “nothing, I’m good,” Louis responded, “I will be just fine! Let’s get another shot.” 

Zayn put his hand in the way of Louis so he didn’t grab another. “No, talk to me.” Louis looked at Zayn with an annoyed look on his face. “Why?” Louis asked, “why does everyone keep asking me?”  
Zayn smiled, “mate… we know you, you get like this every single time we meet up as a group. You’re in love with him still. I get it, trust me. How are things with Aiden, is he cool with you leaving for a couple of months?” Zayn tried to take Louis’ mind off of Harry so he could enjoy his night, but he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere.

Louis nodded, but instead of looking at Zayn, his eyes were still stuck on Harry, “yeah, he’s really cool about things like this… but he travels a lot too, so he kind of gets it.” Louis ran his fingers through his hair, “I’m pathetic, aren’t I? I mean I have this great life, great boyfriend, great job and I still can’t get over my past.” He sighed and his head dropped. Louis realized this wasn’t the place for him right now. He needed to leave and get some rest before he did something he would regret. “I’m gonna call an Uber and go back to Liam’s.” He said.

Zayn looked concerned and only agreed to let him go back to Liam’s if he could tag along for the Uber ride. So that’s what they did. 

Louis hopped out of the Uber and said goodbye to Zayn as he left. Liam gave him a spare key anyway, so he had a way to get back into the flat. He entered through the front door and immediately went to the guest room and collapsed onto the bed. He let his body sink into it and relaxed his muscles. This didn’t get any easier. He remembers everything, every time that they made love, every time that they kissed, every time that he got to make fun of the way Harry called him to make sure that he was okay. They were each other’s entire world. 

And with that being on Louis’ mind, he turned off the lights and shut his eyes.

 

\- Four Hours Later -

“Louis. LOUIS. Wake up. Please, just wake up, will you?” Harry’s words were slurring. He pushed Louis. “Wake up, I need you. Okay? I give up. I need you.” 

Louis woke up and rubbed his eyes, the room was blurry so he turned the light on. Harry was sitting next to him and Louis’ heart dropped.

“Harry? What are you doing?” Louis asked, he put his black glasses on so he could see and scanned Harry. He could tell that he was insanely drunk. 

“I miss you. I need you. Just please. For one night, can we just go back to the way things were?” Harry looked like he had been crying and Louis felt so weak. He wanted to grab him and hold him and kiss his tears away, but he also didn’t want to cheat on Aiden. 

“Harry, what’s going on? Why are you in here?” Louis asked, he put his hand on top of Harry’s to try to soothe him. Louis wonders where the rest of the guys are, but can’t hear any of them, so he thinks they are probably asleep. “When did you get back?” he asked.

“We got back two hours ago and I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about you.” Harry tilted his head and took Louis fingers and put them on his face. 

Louis stopped breathing, and slowly brushed his thumb across Harry’s face, “I know it’s hard. It kills me every single day,” Louis said quietly, “I’m in a relationship now, Harry. I can’t do this.” Louis had a tear coming out of the corner of his eye. He wanted to be there for Harry now more than ever. 

“Just one night,” Harry said, “let me stay in here? Please?” Harry sniffled and crawled into Louis’ bed next to him. Louis couldn’t say no. It wasn’t physically possible for the word no to be formed at a time like this.

Harry took Louis’ hand and kissed his fingers, and Louis could tell Harry was far from sober. He didn’t want Harry to regret this, that was the last thing he wanted. 

“When I saw you tonight,” Harry took a deep breath, “my entire world stopped. I wanted to go up to you so badly, and I could tell that you didn’t want me to. Why didn’t you want me to? You hate me sometimes, don’t you? You don’t want me anymore.” Harry was slurring his words and speaking very fast, and Louis didn’t know what to say.

“You know that’s the farthest from the truth, Harry. You know that. Shhh.” Louis laid back down on the bed and pulled Harry close to him. The least he could do was hold him while he was upset, besides, he wasn’t going to remember any of this in the morning anyway. 

“Shhh, Harry. Go to sleep.” He held on to him and pulled him as close as they could possibly get. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist, and it was so natural. He snuggled his face into Harry’s chest and rubbed his back. 

“Louis,” Harry mumbled, “I love you. I love you, so much.” Louis pulled him closer and held him tight. Harry closed his eyes and Louis could tell he was asleep as soon as his eyelids shut. Louis waited a minute and unwrapped himself from him. He kissed his temple and whispered, “goodnight, Harry.” 

Louis got up from the bed and went onto the couch. His mind was spinning. He couldn’t sleep in there, because he couldn’t imagine how awkward it would be in the morning when they woke up. Harry wouldn’t remember anything at all anyway, so Louis was going to act like nothing happened. Louis’ mind kept running. It felt so good to hold Harry again, even if he wasn’t aware that it was happening. 

Louis shook his head, and realized he forgot to text Aiden when he got back. 

Louis: Goodnight, I’m alive. Xx

As soon as the text sent, Louis put his phone on the coffee table, and shut his eyes. Tonight felt so natural, and all he wanted to do was go crawl back into bed and hold Harry as tightly as he could, but he knew that he couldn’t, and that’s what killed him. 

 

Chapter 4: Do You Remember?

Louis opened his eyes and rolled over to check his phone. It read 07:29, of course, one minute before his alarm was actually going to go off. Annoyed, he took his phone and shut his alarm off. He noticed that his phone had 13 unread messages. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and clicked the messages app. 

 

Aiden: Glad to hear that you’re still alive. Call me when you wake up?x love you babe  
Louis smiled and texted back, “Can’t call quite yet , but will later . Love you . x”  
Liam: Dude are you sure you’re okay? Zayn just got back and told me that you left?  
Liam: You can talk to me, you know…  
Niall: Tommo! Hope you’re okay, mate  
Harry: Hi  
Harry: Um  
Harry: So I know that I haven’t texted you in a while  
Harry: But… I just  
Harry: I miss you a lot  
Harry: I know I’ll probably regret this tomorrow  
Harry: But fuck it, I’m coming back to Liam’s right now  
Harry: I need to talk to you in person.  
Harry: See you soon x

Louis read the text messages a couple of times to make sure that he was reading them right. If Harry was able to text him that well, how drunk was he, really? Louis got up from the couch and folded his blanket. He walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and sat down at the kitchen table. 

“Hey, mate,” Liam walked around the corner and into the kitchen, “why did you sleep on the couch?” Liam chuckled, and Louis sighed. “Harry. Don’t talk to him about it, but he came in late last night and I think he may have been drunk…” Louis ran his hand through his hair. Liam looked at Louis with a serious look on his face, “Lou, he was a mess last night,” Liam forced a smile, “He wouldn’t shut up about how stupid he was, and how his life would never matter anymore because he wasn’t with you… He had a lot to drink, and Zayn and I had to sit around him in the car because we were worried he would do something stupid.” Liam sat down and turned his chair toward Louis.

“Okay,” Louis replied, “well, he came into my room last night at about 3 and woke me up,” Louis sighed, “he was talking a mile a minute so I didn’t really understand what he was saying, but I had to hold him until he fell asleep because he was so worked up…” 

Liam shook his head and gave Louis a sad look, “I know… I kind of made him go in there.” 

Louis looked at Liam, “What? Why?” Louis was annoyed at this point, it almost seemed like everyone else was on the same page except for him. He also had texts from Harry saying that he was coming, so he was confused as to why they were teaming up on him. They had to leave for Australia in three hours and he felt like he wasn’t ready at all. 

“He was talking about you and he was so hurt,” Liam shook his head, “I knew that he would feel better if he went and talked to you.”

Zayn walked into the living room, which was connected to Liam’s kitchen and looked around. “Li?” Zayn said, “Oh, hey mate!” Zayn saw Louis and Liam sitting at the table and joined them. Not even a minute after, all of the boys were in the kitchen and living room.  
\---

Louis was confused. He didn’t understand why Liam would have Harry come into his room. He knew how hard it was for Louis, and he should’ve known that doing that to him would make things worse. At this point, he didn’t even know if Harry remembered last night, but he probably would as soon as he woke up in Louis’ bed. 

Louis was at war with himself because as much as last night was great, he couldn’t keep his mind off Aiden and how much it would hurt him if anything happened over this tour. He kept thinking about how much Aiden trusted him and how much he loved him. Louis realized that it wasn’t far to be using him the way that he was. Of course, Louis felt strongly about him, but as soon as he saw Harry, every bone in his body felt weak. He’s never felt that way with Aiden before.

Louis knew that it wasn’t right for him to go to Australia and keep Aiden hanging on. He knew he needed to end it, as much as he didn’t want to do it over the phone. He felt like such a jerk, but when he thought about how last night felt and realized that he’s never felt that way toward Aiden, he realized that it wasn’t fair to keep him stringing along in this relationship.

Louis picked up his cell phone and walked into the guest room that he almost slept in last night. Millions of thoughts ran through his head. Should he go through with this or just pretend that last night never happened and stay away from Harry? 

Louis dialed Aiden’s phone number and waited for the phone to ring. Aiden picked up.  
“Hey babe.” 

“Hey,” Louis mumbled, “what are you doing?” 

“Actually, I was just about to call you and see what you were doing. You haven’t texted me much lately so I was getting kinda concerned,” Aiden surely wasn’t stupid. He knew that his boyfriend was going on tour with someone that he used to be in love with. Did that make Aiden worry? All the time.

“Sorry, I’ve just been really busy and the boys have been bugging me to go out whenever they do,” Louis sighed.

“Are you alright?” Aiden could tell something was off.

“I’m fine, but I do need to talk to you... “

Aiden could tell that something was up. He didn’t wanna hear what Louis was about to say. He knew that this was the end. He knew that when Louis went back on tour that it was going to be the end and he wasn’t ready to face the world without him.

“Louis… please, don’t say it… I know what’s happening…” Aiden fought back tears.

“Listen, Aiden… I’m really sorry. I just don’t know if I can do this while being on tour and everything. I know I’m a terrible boyfriend for calling and saying this over the phone. I just don’t want to hurt you more in the long run. I’m sorry.” Louis was crying, he felt so guilty and he truly felt like such a bad person, but at the same time a weight was lifted off his shoulders also.

“It’s okay, Lou. I knew that this was going to happen, as much as I didn’t want it to…” Aiden sighed, “I’m gonna go… I have nothing else to say…” Aiden didn’t wait for a response. He hung up the phone.

Louis put his phone down and tears were streaming down his face. He knew that he needed to do this because he wanted Aiden to find someone who got weak at the sight of him. Someone who would do anything to be by his side. And unfortunately, Louis knew that it wasn’t him. 

\---

Louis walked back into the livingroom and sat on the couch. He picked up his phone and pretended he was busy but the boys knew him. They knew what was happening, especially Liam. Liam seemed to know Louis better than he knew himself lately. He knew that things weren’t going to last with Aiden. Liam thought that Harry and Louis were meant to be together, even if they didn’t know it yet.

Harry walked out of Louis’ room and went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. His head was killing him and he felt like he was going to die. He walked out into the living room and sat across from Louis. 

“Um… Hi,” Harry mumbled, “listen…I-” 

“No,” Louis said, “don’t worry about it. Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” Louis forced a smile.

Harry didn’t remember much of what happened last night, but it was a bit alarming for him when he woke up and realized that it was Louis’ bed that he was in. He knew Louis would never take advantage of him, but he also wanted to know what happened last night.

“What exactly did I do, Lou?” Harry said, his face starting to feel hot. He was embarrassed and felt so stupid. 

\-- More to come --


End file.
